I never imagined being nervous about having a second child but with baby boy #2 on the way I’ve realized that fears of becoming a mother for the second time are very different yet just as real.
When we first found out I was pregnant again I only imagined how wonderful of a big brother Beau would be. He is kind, loving, inquisitive, helpful, and just a bright soul all around. I know he will be amazing and at the same time realizing that he will not quite be 3 years old when the new baby comes so there will be times when he acts… well, like a 3 year old.
So far, he’s very sweet about “baby brudder” and started to kiss my belly when I was barely showing. He went to our first ultrasound appointment with us and was unsure of me being on the table but when he heard the heartbeat a few minutes later he was very focused and quiet and said, “Baby?”
Celebrating after a healthy 20-week check up on baby brother!
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The what-if’s…
In my case, with my first birth I had a wonderful labor and birth and bounced back immediately and was feeling great. One of my biggest fears this time around is if that doesn’t happen again. What if I’m laid up in the hospital bed, relatively helpless when Beau comes to meet his baby brother? Will it upset him? How will he handle the hospital even if I’m walking around and full of energy like last time? How will he handle being away for 2-3 days?
What if I go into labor while he’s home and he sees me in pain? Will he be helpful? Will he be scared? What if I’m alone with him? Will I be able to care for him?
What if I go into labor while he’s sleeping and he wakes up with Mommy & Daddy gone and my parents have to explain to him that Mommy went to the hospital while he was sleeping?
So many questions… I’ll let you know the answers after we live through it.
The labor…
With having gone through a natural labor and birth one time I feel prepared to do it again. However, the fear if it being different, medical interventions, and an overall not as wonderful of an experience as last time is very real.
We are planning a natural/unmedicated birth in the hospital just as the first time. Two things that I feel confident in from my last experience are that I have a wonderful doctor that supports my choices and a rock solid birthing partner in my husband.
We also had an amazing labor & delivery nurse for my first birth who has since retired. We were connected on Facebook so I reached out to her and she is going to be our doula for this birth! We are so excited to have her wisdom, experience, and loving spirit on our team again!
The childcare…
Most of my worries seem to revolve around my first born this time around. How will he react? Will this completely rock his world? One thing that puts me at ease is that we are very lucky to have family live close by. We have been practicing Beau spending nights away with my parents for most of my pregnancy. We have worked our way up to a weekend away (2 nights) and while it’s hard for me he absolutely loves it. I am so relieved that we have been able to prepare him well for nights away from us.
The resources…
I found The Second Baby Book by Sarah Ockwell-Smith to be very helpful. A lot of my “what-if” questions were eased by this book. The biggest one being that our bodies tend to know when it is “safe” to go into labor (i.e. when your first baby is safe, with someone you trust, and/or asleep).
The yoga…
Here it is! The yoga section. So, my practice since becoming a mother has not come back quite the same. I never went back to teaching yoga and I rarely make it to a yoga class. My practice consists of nap-time practices (when I choose yoga over household chores) and trying to practice with a toddler on top of me… or asking me to get a toy from under the couch, or asking me to get him a snack, or just plainly requesting me to, “Get up, Mommy.” What I’m trying to say is, yoga doesn’t happen as long or as often as it used to. But it’s good in its own delightfully fun way. We have also planned for me to attend a prenatal yoga class once weekly at my local beloved Villager Yoga.
The asana… Poses that feel wonderful this time around (in no particular order).
Virasana & Supta Virasana… Hero pose is my favorite pose. The thighs, the knees, the feet… feels so good all over.
Virabhadrasana I & II… The Warriors to strengthen the legs for labor. {It feels good to move and flow in these poses. Inhale to straighten the bent knee, exhale deep bend back into the knee/full pose. Repeat.}
Pranayama… Lots of deep breathing at the beginning and end of a practice and anytime I have a quiet moment.
Surya Namaskar A & B… Sun Salutations fill me with energy and make me feel like I can take on the world (or nap time).
Eka Pada Rajakapotasana (variation)… My hips have been very tight this pregnancy. Pigeon pose hits all the right spots. Every. Single. Time.
Balasana… Child’s pose with wide knees and deep breaths. Take a break, mama.
Vrksasana… Tree pose for balance, grace, and stability.
Adho Mukha Svanasana… Down dog requires its own mention outside of the Sun Salutations because I hang out here for long periods of time. Moving my hips and knees, stretching, breathing (and it’s Beau’s favorite).
Malasana… Garland pose to release the lower back and hips. This yoga squat stretches in all the right places for a pregnant yogi. {Just as in the warrior poses I move and flow in this pose. Inhale reach up, exhale deep squat down, inhale and exhale in the pose, inhale and rise to stand tall, exhale hands at my heart. Repeat.}
Bundles of love,
Stay tuned for “Another birth story…” coming sometime in November!
Related post: “Diary of a pregnant yogi…” (round I)
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